It's been a Struggle...

this month for me has been an absolute roller coaster. Happys and worries and sads and just plain hards.

The Happy

Well like I have already posted before we had a beautiful niece born, Ayla rose Ulrich. I haven't seen her yet and I probably won't for a little while since she is trying to recover. But everytime I look at the pictures of her and read about her I just love her so much already. She is a little miracle baby and she is so blessed to have the parents that she has. I was talking with my Father-in-Law the other night and he was just talking to me about her and telling me how darn cute she is and that she is a true fighter. He was also telling me what good parents Chris and Stac are going to be to this little thing. I just can't wait to meet her, hold her and just be a part of her life. Babies are my weakness I abolutely love to hold them but when they are a new part to your family it is truly special.

The Worry

I just have been so worried about my little brother latety with everything going on with him. I don't know what it is about Adam but so many people fall in love with his personality. He is so fun, energetic and my favorite loves his family. He is a little crazy on the outside with all his different hair dos and pierced ears but let me tell you everyone who takes the time to get to know him knows what an incredible person he really is. I feel like Adam and I have a really good relationship. when I moved back home for a while before I got married I felt like that time was really good for me, Adam and my little sister Amanda. After moving away and then coming back I think we just all realized how much we missed each other. That time was so good to be able to develop better relationships with them both. I won't trade that semester home for the world. I really got to see who Adam was developing into, the things he cared about and was passionate about and things he was really good at.

He is a really amazing person and I just believe he is trying to find himself right now. As of now he is not preparing to go on a mission. I know how important missions are and I am so happy that Ty went on a mission and I know it is what the men in this church are supposed to do. But I love my little brother and I am not going to judge him on that. I mean of course I still hope deep inside that he is still going to go and maybe it will happen but I just know whether he goes or doesn't I believe he is going to find himself and that he is going to be who he is supposed to be. He is also about to join the Utah National Guard. He has talked to the recruiter down in Salt Lake and then the recruiter came to talk to him the other day as like an interview at my parents house. He seems really excited about it and I am so proud of him for doing something like this. I think it will be so good for him. I love you little Bro, you are always keeping us on our toes.

So anyway I have been worried about him a lot this month because of all his happenings. First of all he was break dancing and came down wrong on his arm or shoulder and tweeked it pretty bad and had to be out of work for a while because of it. Second last Saturday I got a text from my mom saying "Adam's car got stolen last night they found it this morning in Magna." I was like what? Slow down. I have to read that again. and then of course I had to call my mom to get the details.Now that he has it back a lot of things were stolen from the inside and they did something to it because ever since he has gotten it back it hasn't been working. I feel so bad for him because he had worked so hard to get that car and then worked really hard on it fixing it all up and stuff. Poor kid. Hang in there everything is going to work out

The Sad

Well this is sad and a worry. I got a call from my dad last week telling me that my grandma Bargar was in the hospital and they didn't know what had happened yet. But that she might have had a stroke or heart attack or both. I was so scared and baffled because my grandma isn't even very old. I didn't think old enough for all of this happening to her. So I was super worried and sad because when I was all alone when I found out so I called Ty at work and they let him come home. The next day my mom called to update us and grandma was doing better they now thought that it wasn't either a stroke or a heart attack but she was low on oxygen. She had been sick and because of all the coughing and her immune system being down she was low on her oxygen consumption. They kept her at the hospital to do some more tests. Well then the next we heard she was still in the hospital and being transfered to another one for exploritory surgery on her heart because they thought they had seen something that needed to be check out. So the latest now is that the surgery went fine and they didn't see anything. Poor grandma she has been through a lot lately. We love you and our prayers are with you.


And the just plain hard

Well Ty and I are in a place right now where we don't know what our future holds. We have no idea where we will be going to law school in the fall, we don't know where or when we are going to be moving, I don't know where I will be doing my teaching licensure, or how long it is going to take and most of all we have been back and forth of when to start our own little family. It is hard not knowing where we are going to be moving because we can't even start looking for apartments or houses yet. I am so proud of Ty for taking this step in his life and I am so excited to see what our furture holds and I just want to know so badly where we will be. I just have to have faith that we will end up where we are supposed to be and where Ty will have the best education for him personally. I need to have faith that I will get to be a mom one day and I just need to be patient and find out what our furture holds first. It is just really tough for me to wait any longer. Babies are always on my mind and everytime I hear the words baby, children, kids, pregnant I just have the best feeling in the whole world. But it will come I know it will. As for where we end up in the fall we will keep you all posted when we find out.