Emetophobia {Keeping it Real}

Ok guys I already shared this over at Undone this week but I wanted to open up to my readers here too. I wanted to share one of my secrets with you, to tell you more about me so you can get to know me better, to get real, show you how I live without pretending and open up to you. I must really trust you or something. My name is Whitney and I have Emetophobia. What is this Emetophobia you ask?

Here is how wikipedia defines it: "(from the  Greek εμετός, to vomit, and φόβος (phóbos), meaning "fear") is an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia an also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated. Emetophobia is clinically considered an “elusive predicament” because limited research has been done pertaining to it.The fear of vomiting receives little attention compared with other irrational fears People with emetophobia frequently report a vomit related traumatic event, such as a long bout of stomach flu, accidentally vomiting in public, or having to witness someone else vomit, as the start of the emetophobia. This typically occurs in the teenage years and affects predominately females."

Crazy and super weird right? This is not just not liking vomit, because hello no body likes vomit, this is a fear and serious condition. I honestly have a fear of vomit. I fear throwing up, I fear smelling it, seeing it, hearing it or any of the above. So how in the heck am I a mother? Well lets just say that it is a good thing they don't throw up everyday or I just don't know what I would do. Hubby is in charge of cleaning it up when he is around. I have no problem with baby spit up, that doesn't even phase me but the real food toddler and older throw up I really have a hard time handling. I get all shaky, my stomach instantly hurts, I cry, panic and have a serious all out panic attack.

 I know it is kind of ridiculous I really try not to let it affect me but it happens and I seriously have no control. The first time Maddux threw up I went into mommy mode cleaned it up, laid him back down for a nap, and I felt like I was pretty put together then as soon as I laid him down I had a total break down. I sobbed uncontrollably and every time since I am a complete wreck. I am hoping things will just get easier and I will just get used to it since I have two kids now and plan on having more. They will get sick sometimes there is nothing I can do about that and Ty won't always be here to clean it up or take care of them. So I am really really praying I get over this at some point. The problem is the older I get I feel like the worse it gets. Any other sickness I am ok with, I will snuggle them, put wash clothes on their forehead whatever I need to but throw up oh man it is a nightmare. I once even lysoled my husband when he was sick. hahaha my family makes fun of me all the time about that one. Oh and the first time he threw up when we got married I got in the shower right away and then went to the store so that I wouldn't have to be around it. Then I felt bad for leaving so I came home with a sprite for him, a card and of course some Lysol.

I never had a traumatic event when it comes to vomit and I don't really know how it started. I haven't thrown up in 3 years and before that it had been six. I only threw up once when I was pregnant with Maddux and never did with Holden. It is not like I didn't feel like I was going to all the time I just had to talk myself out of it. Every time I get a stomach bug I talk myself out of it. Every time someone is sick and I found out and they are around me I freak and I will avoid them at all costs. Every time Maddux doesn't eat very well, has a weird stool, or starts coughing I automatically think he is sick and going to throw up it sucks so bad. You guys I can't even watch the part where she pukes in
Pitch Perfect! What the heck!!!!

So what am I going to do about it? Well I am not really sure. There isn't much you can do. Some say that anxiety medication helps and some say that therapy can help just like any other phobia. So I am going to look into some options and see but for now I am just trying to deal with it.

 Does anyone else have this fear? Or am I completely alone here?