I haven't been consistent in blogging for a long while. I'm not sure why, it just kinda happened slowly. But I do know I miss it and I feel like apart of me is missing without it. I was blogging less and less until it just kinda stopped for the most part. I think I was getting overwhelmed with what people thought of me and I didn't like that. I started blogging to share myself, my projects, my story, and my mom moments, not to brag or to be the Whitney show, not to look perfect, or show off, in fact the opposite I started this blog as an outlet, I started this blog to share my real life, the beauty and the mess, I wanted to share a project so someone else even if it was just one person could make one and enjoy it as much as I did. I shared my mom stories to show those messy moments yeah you are not alone when those happen. I shared my fashion posts because I loved it and I think its important to keep our interests, hobbies and loves when we become mothers. I shared my fitness posts to help busy moms out there be able to fit in some exercise into that crazy day.
I took pictures, and I just wrote. I am not a writer by any means, in fact I used to dread English in school, My grammar is probably terrible, I put punctuation in all the wrong places, but I write and I enjoy writing. It is freeing in a way. I not good at writing but I like it. And I think that is why I have missed blogging so much. Not to mention I have met some incredible people through blogging that I don't think our lives would have crossed if I didn't. It is important to me so I am going to give another stab at it. I am not going to let it get to the point again that I am constantly worried about what I write doesn't sit well with someone in the world. I'm not going to worry if it's cool enough or good enough. I am just going to write, I am going to create, I am going to put together outfits and workouts and I am going to be real.
I am going to be me. I have learned a valuable lesson, at now almost 28, that I knew before but I just don't think it really meant anything to me until now. I have always cared about what people thought of me. I get torn up and hurt if someone dislikes me. I mean, it must be my fault. I must have something wrong with me. I just must not have it. And when these moments happen I crawl right back up in that shell I worked so hard to come out of. In the last little bit I have realized and it has been brought to my attention by friends that, all that type of thinking is only hurting me. Because I am so worried about what people think and so fixated on the ones that don't like me I am not treasuring and focusing, giving credit to or being thankful for my true friends that accept me. It was eye opening I mean I knew it already but for some reason lately this lesson has just clicked for me. I know a little late, but life is a journey and we are always learning life lessons along the way right?! I don't ever want my boys to think that they aren't good enough, that they have to impress every body, I don't want them to think everyone has to like them, or change who they are just to be accepted. I want them to be them and to not be afraid of that.
So this post for sure was not meant to be all about coming back to blogging, or about feeling accepted, I just started typing and that is what came out. As I read through it I almost erased it and shortened it cut it all out and started over, but that wouldn't be what I truly wrote now would it. That would be me holding back, not being true to myself and the easy way out. So it stays and with that being said I am excited to tell you about another passion of mine. The outdoors. I grew up camping, Ive never been afraid to get a little dirty, wear a hat and sleep in a tent, but as an adult this has not happened nearly enough and I realized how much I miss and it and kinda need it. There is beauty all around us and if you live in Utah you know how gorgeous it is. So along with blogging more often, you will see me outdoors in nature a lot more often too.
Last Sunday I woke up craving the outdoors, it was weird but I just thought Id go with it. We decided we would do a family hike up Adam's Canyon that is until I opened the curtains and saw how rainy it was, darn I was a little bummed. So we ate breakfast got ready and decided to at least go on a drive up the canyon to see Pineview and enjoy the mountains through the canyon. The drive up was gorgeous and the leaves were even beginning to change. It was so fun to tell Holden and Maddux about the changing leaves and to see their faces light up every time they saw a cow or horse out in the gorgeous open fields. Even in the car driving I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the beauty and my love for the country. I love it I just want land so bad one day, that is my dream, land with horses, and even our own cow, some chickens and our own garden with our own fresh veggies, a house with a white picket fence and a wrap around porch. Going outside and just seeing mountains and open skys. Ahhhh what a dream. As we came down the hill into Huntsville we decided to drive around the lake and ended up at the swimming beach.
The rain had stopped so we decided to get the boys out and walk the beach. Walking the beach turned into my adorable boys throwing rocks into the water and giggling not caring how chilly it was just have fun outside, on the beach with the mountains surrounding us. I couldn't help but just feel grateful. Grateful for my babies, for my family, grateful for this beautiful world, grateful for my friends, grateful for our life situations going on right now, grateful for my amazing crossfit family, grateful for my strength, grateful to be a mom and to be able to house and give birth to those amazing spirits, grateful for my savior and all that he has done for me and knowing he knows me better than I know me, and just grateful for my life.
So go, go outside and when I mean outside I mean in nature in the mountains, by a lake, on a hike. Just breathe in the fresh air and relax, take it all in and enjoy the moment. Get away from the loud for a minute and enjoy the quiet. I am writing that for me also, I am guilty when it comes to life's hustles and bussels getting to me I am probably the most stressed out person and this just made me feel renewed. I can't wait to do it again and my boys are already asking to go back.
Oh and this little super hero says hi!
Love you all, until next time....
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