Breathe Deeply & Appreciate the moment

I am a huge believer that we all need people. We need those people that will always be in our corner in our lives that will help us through thick and thin that we can talk to and be ourselves with. People need people. Sometimes we may feel we don't but we do we need interaction with others we need to feel loved, feel important and feel like we have a place in the world. These people are family, friends and even our day to day acquaintances. People need people and that is ok. That being said that will never go away, that is a part of the human nature, but I have come to learn as I get older, go through some things and grow that even though we need people in our lives sometimes we need to focus on ourselves too.

Focus on ourselves? How do you do that? I've always thought that was being selfish. It isn't. I am learning it is not selfish to take care of you. You need to take care of you, do what makes you happy and love yourself. I'm not sure if I've ever said that I love myself. That feels weird. But why? How do you expect for others to love you, be there for you and be friends with you if you don't even like you. That is a crazy way to think about it huh? That was asked to me and it really got me thinking. I have to believe in myself, like myself, like who I am and where I am at in order to be happy, in order to be the best person, wife, mother and friend to those around me.

 SHIRT: Lulu Lemon || FLANNEL: H&M || LEGGINGS: Target || JACKET: Bench ||

SHOES: Nike || LOCATION: Trolley Square || PHOTOGRAPHER: Tyler Ulrich 

Focusing on you is not selfish and it never will be it makes you better and happy and in turn that makes you a better mom, a better wife, a better friend, a better neighbor, sister, daughter, it makes you better, stronger and more productive.

Focusing on you even though it is needed and encouraged it is hard. It is hard to just let go, because I am such a perfectionist, but you cannot get all caught up in your head like that. Stretch yourself. Push yourself. Do what makes you happy. Love on your kids. Do something nice for someone. Do something for you. Even if that is making a treat and watching your favorite movie so you can relax and be re-energized to take on the day or your tasks is sometimes the best thing you can do.

I am pretty notorious for being really hard on myself. I know that is somewhat normal at times but I have been told I am unhealthfully hard on myself. I know thats not ok. I kept saying that is just me and I don't know how to change it, but as time goes and the more I live my life and people who care about me tell me it isn't ok I know its time to work on it. I think the first step was figuring out why I am so hard on myself. Well another struggle I have is I care too much what others think of me. I know everyone cares what others think, but I just can't seem to let it go. I want everyone to like me. I take it super personal if someone doesn't and get very heartbroken over others opinions of me. If they don't like me I must be no good, if they don't like me I must not be worth anything, if they don't like me I mean maybe they are right. That isn't ok. Some people just don't click, we just don't get along with everyone. I still would love people to love me for me but if they don't I cannot dwell on it so much that it changed my self worth and the way I think and feel about myself. I know who I am, I know what I stand for and my goals and dreams and that has got to be enough for me.

So what I am I doing to focus on me? That is a great question. I have good days and I have bad days just like anyone else. I do want to focus on me and I am in the process, but I am also trying to enjoy the process. I am trying to breathe and appreciate each moment. Appreciating where you are at is one of the hardest things but something that is very important to be able to continue to grow and move forward.

I am just taking it day by day. I am trying to focus on my relationship with christ and pray more, I am trying to be more patient and spend more time on my kids, I am trying to be more positive and thankful for the blessings that have been given to me, I am trying to take a little time for me each day, I am trying to stress less and smile and laugh more.  I am continuing to work hard and do what makes me happy, share my passions with others and have fun in all the mix.

Life is hard enough, people can be harsh enough. Lets just love a little more, be kind a little more to others and to ourselves. Be nice to that person you see in the mirror each morning. Be kind to that person and just see what happens. I am still working on this it is an ongoing battle of mine but it is worth working on and bettering your relationship with yourself and others.

So go right now and write something or a few things or a lot of things that you love about you! It is love month. Love yourself. Love others! Be kind.

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There is Beauty all Around

I haven't been consistent in blogging for a long while. I'm not sure why, it just kinda happened slowly. But I do know I miss it and I feel like apart of me is missing without it. I was blogging less and less until it just kinda stopped for the most part. I think I was getting overwhelmed with what people thought of me and I didn't like that. I started blogging to share myself, my projects, my story, and my mom moments, not to brag or to be the Whitney show, not to look perfect, or show off, in fact the opposite I started this blog as an outlet, I started this blog to share my real life, the beauty and the mess, I wanted to share a project so someone else even if it was just one person could make one and enjoy it as much as I did. I shared my mom stories to show those messy moments yeah you are not alone when those happen. I shared my fashion posts because I loved it and I think its important to keep our interests, hobbies and loves when we become mothers. I shared my fitness posts to help busy moms out there be able to fit in some exercise into that crazy day. 

I took pictures, and I just wrote. I am not a writer by any means, in fact I used to dread English in school, My grammar is probably terrible, I put punctuation in all the wrong places, but I write and I enjoy writing. It is freeing in a way. I not good at writing but I like it. And I think that is why I have missed blogging so much. Not to mention I have met some incredible people through blogging that I don't think our lives would have crossed if I didn't. It is important to me so I am going to give another stab at it. I am not going to let it get to the point again that I am constantly worried about what I write doesn't sit well with someone in the world. I'm not going to worry if it's cool enough or good enough. I am just going to write, I am going to create, I am going to put together outfits and workouts and I am going to be real. 

 I am going to be me. I have learned a valuable lesson, at now almost 28, that I knew before but I just don't think it really meant anything to me until now. I have always cared about what people thought of me. I get torn up and hurt if someone dislikes me. I mean, it must be my fault. I must have something wrong with me. I just must not have it. And when these moments happen I crawl right back up in that shell I worked so hard to come out of. In the last little bit I have realized and it has been brought to my attention by friends that, all that type of thinking is only hurting me. Because I am so worried about what people think and so fixated on the ones that don't like me I am not treasuring and focusing, giving credit to or being thankful for my true friends that accept me. It was eye opening I mean I knew it already but for some reason lately this lesson has just clicked for me. I know a little late, but life is a journey and we are always learning life lessons along the way right?! I don't ever want my boys to think that they aren't good enough, that they have to impress every body, I don't want them to think everyone has to like them, or change who they are just to be accepted. I want them to be them and to not be afraid of that.

So this post for sure was not meant to be all about coming back to blogging, or about feeling accepted,  I just started typing and that is what came out. As I read through it I almost erased it and shortened it cut it all out and started over, but that wouldn't be what I truly wrote now would it. That would be me holding back, not being true to myself and the easy way out. So it stays and with that being said I am excited to tell you about another passion of mine. The outdoors. I grew up camping, Ive never been afraid to get a little dirty, wear a hat and sleep in a tent, but as an adult this has not happened nearly enough and I realized how much I miss and it and kinda need it. There is beauty all around us and if you live in Utah you know how gorgeous it is. So along with blogging more often, you will see me outdoors in nature a lot more often too. 

Last Sunday I woke up craving the outdoors, it was weird but I just thought Id go with it. We decided we would do a family hike up Adam's Canyon that is until I opened the curtains and saw how rainy it was, darn I was a little bummed. So we ate breakfast got ready and decided to at least go on a drive up the canyon to see Pineview and enjoy the mountains through the canyon. The drive up was gorgeous and the leaves were even beginning to change. It was so fun to tell Holden and Maddux about the changing leaves and to see their faces light up every time they saw a cow or horse out in the gorgeous open fields. Even in the car driving I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the beauty and my love for the country. I love it I just want land so bad one day, that is my dream, land with horses, and even our own cow, some chickens and our own garden with our own fresh veggies, a house with a white picket fence and a wrap around porch. Going outside and just seeing mountains and open skys. Ahhhh what a dream. As we came down the hill into Huntsville we decided to drive around the lake and ended up at the swimming beach. 

The rain had stopped so we decided to get the boys out and walk the beach. Walking the beach turned into my adorable boys throwing rocks into the water and giggling not caring how chilly it was just have fun outside, on the beach with the mountains surrounding us. I couldn't help but just feel grateful. Grateful for my babies, for my family, grateful for this beautiful world, grateful for my friends, grateful for our life situations going on right now, grateful for my amazing crossfit family, grateful for my strength, grateful to be a mom and to be able to house and give birth to those amazing spirits, grateful for my savior and all that he has done for me and knowing he knows me better than I know me, and just grateful for my life. 

So go, go outside and when I mean outside I mean in nature in the mountains, by a lake, on a hike. Just breathe in the fresh air and relax, take it all in and enjoy the moment. Get away from the loud for a minute and enjoy the quiet. I am writing that for me also, I am guilty when it comes to life's hustles and bussels getting to me I am probably the most stressed out person and this just made me feel renewed. I can't wait to do it again and my boys are already asking to go back. 

Oh and this little super hero says hi!
Love you all, until next time....

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Law School Grad and jumping into a new stage of life {Celebrating}

Last Friday on the 10th this boy graduated from Law school! Halleluiah! That's pretty awesome right?! We are all so proud of him and so excited he is done. As he is too I am sure. It truly has been an adventure and mostly a good one. I feel like it was a positive experience and not only did he gain a good education but we gained some great friends along the way.

I remember the feeling of Ty applying and us not knowing where we would be going. I remember making the hard decision to wait an extra year {that ended up being the best decision for us}. I remember when Ty told me he got into the U {yay we got to move closer to our families}. I remember when we had our little baby Maddux, moved up to Salt lake and he started his first year all just in one summer. I remember being lucky enough to be able to move into his grandmas basement apartment and what a blessing it has been for our family. I remember how busy Ty was his first year. I remember the long nights of him studying and writing papers. I remember how hard he worked for all of this. And now, now he is graduated from law school.

This is Marcus. Ty likes to call him his school wife. Because like me, Marcus is the stressor and Ty is the mellow one that is ever so patient with us and calms us down. He is one of his best friends that he met while at school at the U.They are both BYU fans so of course they had to wear their Y ties at their U graduation. Weirdos. I am glad they had each other during school I think they really helped and supported each other throughout the 3 years. Marcus' wife and little boys are also so darling and I hope that we stay life long friends with them.

The ceremony was great! It was a beautiful day, the speakers were short and sweet and most very entertaining. I cried I was so proud. I think he even got a little teary eyed.

Ty walking, received his diploma and shook all the hands of the big shots at the school and some of his favorite professors. To those professors, I thank them for teaching my husband all the knowledge he needs to know to get the career of his dream, to support his family and I thank them for making a lasting impact and impression on his life and mine.

Seriously what a special day to celebrate my hard working boy.

He had so much support surrounding him throughout the last 3 years from me and the boys, his parents, my parents, grandparents, other family and friends, And we all love him so much.

 Ty and Collin

Adam and Ty {Another Y fan} 

After the ceremony, the pictures, the hugs and the visiting we headed to the lion house for a surprise lunch for Ty to celebrate with some of his favorite people, family and a couple friends. Julie and I planned this because we know how much he loves it there and ya know Julie is kinda  big deal there so she got it all perfect and ready to go with the red and black and U of U all over, with some delish food and dessert.

So what is next? Well for the next two and a half months he will be studying for the bar and taking a bar prep class {it is like he is in school again for just a couple months}, then he takes the bar in July {which he is going to rock!}, we wait patiently to get his results probably in September, he gets sworn in,  and he applies for Jobs as a real licensed Lawyer, find a place to live in the process of all of this, oh and hopefully a fun vacation soon to celebrate all of his awesomeness.

And again I have that feeling, that nervous but a little excited feeling you know the one that you just have to have faith and rely on the Lord that your prayers will be answered, that he will find a job that he loves, that we will know when we are supposed to be. Yeah I have that feeling and it is kinda scary .Because I worry, yes I am a worrier. Will he find a job he loves? Will we settle where we are supposed to be? I really am trying really hard to just have faith. I am teaching my young women Sunday after Sunday to trust in the Lord and now it is my turn to really do that. But I'm going to do it. I am looking forward to the next stage of our lives. Here is to moving forward and being happy. And again congratulations to my awesome, hunk of a husband {I mean how lucky am I} for such a huge accomplishment. We are all so proud of you!!!!

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